Top 10 Oral Sex Tips for Men—Or, How to become an Expert Cunnilingist
Earlier this week we posted “Top 13 Oral Sex Tips for Women—How to Give the Best Blow Jobs”. Okay, guys, now it’s your turn to learn a few tricks.
If you ask women what their favorite sexual act is (besides masturbation), they will most likely say it is cunnilingus. This is because the clitoris is highly sensitive and made for pleasure, so most women prefer cunnilingus to intercourse because oral sex focuses the pleasure on her clit. There is nothing like the feeling of a warm, wet tongue thrilling her clitoris to ecstasy. Oral sex is the perfect sexual act for giving women pleasurable orgasms. Cunnilingus is not a natural skill, and you must learn to be good at it, by practicing different techniques and finding out what she likes. Here are some tricks you can learn and practice yourself to become an expert “pearl diver”.
1. Get into it—If you are not into giving her head, your lack of enthusiasm and desire will be apparent. So don’t perform cunnilingus because you feel you have to, or because it is a chore. Do it because you love her, because you find her hot and sexy, and because nothing turns you on more than getting her off. If this isn’t true, then why are you doing it in the first place? Also, don’t just go through the motions. Get into it; be creative and responsive to her desires.
2. Hygiene and Body Image—Some women have stronger odors than others, and their essence may be stronger at different times of the month. Because of our cultural stigmas, some women may feel very conscious about how they smell or taste. To make both you and your partner feel more comfortable, why not give her a hot, sensual bath under candlelight to get you both in the mood. That way she won’t be thinking, “I wonder if I taste and smell okay!” and you won’t be turned off by any strong aromas. Women have also been taught for centuries that their genitals are “dirty”. While times are a-changing, some women still may been that their vulva is not beautiful. Maybe they feel their lips are too big, their clitoris too small, or compare themselves to images of unrealistic, airbrushed pussy-porn. Assure them that you find their vulva beautiful and sexy so they can turn off their conscious critical brain and allow themselves to be orally worshipped.
3. Don’t Attack Her Clit—Seriously, most women need a bit of a warm-up before you go down on her. Don’t head straight to her clitoris and start licking her like a sex-starved maniac until she is REALLY turned on by your foreplay. For some women, direct contact with her clit can be uncomfortable, too ticklish, or even painful until she is highly aroused. Try deep kissing, fondling, exploring other areas of her body, whispering in her ear, teasing, erotic massage, and that sort of thing, before you head down to her nether regions.
4. Tease Her—One of the hottest things you can do to drive your lover wild is to tease her so she builds up anticipation. Think of sex (and oral sex) as a naughty suspense, where you come close to her desire (in this case her clitoris and vulva) with light, feathery strokes, nibbles and kisses, and warm exhales of breath, that dance around but never quite make contact with her jewel. At least not at first. Allow her to moan and contort, and to move her hips until she forces you into position, and then you know she can’t stand it anymore and is more than ready for your cunning kiss.
5. Cunning Kiss—Once you are down there you are ready to dive in with your cunning kiss. Lick, suck and nuzzle her vulva, labia and slowly begin to circle your way around and towards the clitoris. Unless she pulls you right there, start off slow and don’t lick directly on the glans of the clitoris. Start with light “French” kisses and flat tongue soft licks. Allow her to decide the intensity and pace of the action. Some women may prefer a stiff tongue and more pressure as well, so try different things and see what she likes.
6. Sweet Spot—For every woman her sweet spot will be different and she will like different types of sensation. Ask her to direct you in what feels best for her. For many women, the upper left side of the clitoris is her “sweet spot”. You can find this out by playing the clock game with her. Imagine her clitoris is a clock and lick and flick around it with your tongue, asking her to tell you at what point it feels best. Usually this will be a side of the clitoris and not directly on it. Once you find it forget teasing and stay with her clit.
7. Polishing the Pearl—Soon she will start grinding against you if you have found her sweet spot and are stimulating it the way she likes. Try up and down strokes as well as back and forth strokes. Try circling the clitoris with your tongue, but always come back to her sweet spot. If she really likes something and is moaning, don’t stop what you are doing. Many women enjoy a steady continuous rhythm, so only change it up only occasionally when your tongue gets tired, and then get right back at it again.
8. Sucking—Some women prefer soft or even hard sucking on their clitoris. It all depends on the woman. So try sucking on it and gage her response. Make sure she is communicating with you about what she likes. Usually, if she is grinding against you, arching her back, pulling your hair, jerking her hips, and moaning, that is a good indicator that she loves what you are doing.
9. Hands & Fingers—While your mouth is busy, don’t forget that you have two hands and twenty fingers. Use your hands to continue to fondle and caress her where she likes. Some women enjoy having their breasts, nipples, anus or vagina stimulated while received head. Others enjoy light caresses on their inner thighs or stomachs. If your partner enjoys penetration during cunnilingus, then you can also use a finger or two to insert inside her. Some women will prefer a stationary finger, while others may enjoy movement or even G spot stimulation. Keep communicating to find out what is working best for her.
10. Don’t Stop—The most important rule to giving a girl great head is, don’t stop when she is reaching her peak of orgasm. Stay with the same rhythm, intensity and sweet spot. Don’t go faster either. She is savoring that peak for as long as she can, so don’t try to rush her through it. Keep in the groove and continue doing whatever it is that is driving her over the edge of ecstasy. Once she has finished orgasm, then you can stop if she tells you to (or squeezes your head between her thighs to push you out). Otherwise slow it down and bask in her orgasm.
Congratulations! You are now a cunnilingus expert! Now, go practice!