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Turning Porn Into Reality: Top 10 Porn Scenarios You Really Should Try


We've all seen the porn fantasies – the naughty secretary, the pizza delivery boy, the cable guy, etc. In reality, these things never happen. Or do they? Well, in Penthouse Letters they do. In the real world, it takes an enterprising individual, a willing partner, a cash transaction or perhaps all of the above to live out one of these porn plot lines. So suspend disbelief and get to it. You won't be sorry.


10. Sex at the gym

Unless you own a gym, the sex-at-the-gym porn fantasy probably isn't too realistic. However, all is not lost. Sex with someone you pick up at the gym can be just as pornorrific. First, there are the sweaty, hot, well-toned bodies in motion. Hell, if I went to the gym, I'd probably have a hard-on the entire time, but I digress. My point here is people hook up at the gym all the time, so why shouldn't you? Turn that friendly smile into a post-gym rendezvous. I suppose the only downside here is you have to change gyms if things get ugly.


9. Pizza delivery boy/cable guy

I actually know people who've been propositioned in both of these occupations, so it does happen. It's not so much the case with the pizza delivery boy, but the cable guy is visiting a lot of homes during the day, when women are home alone. I'm sure you see the potential. However, most of us aren't pizza delivery boys or cable guys, so we only see these scenarios unfold in porn. Therefore, to engage in such illicit sexual behavior, you're probably going to have to be creative or get job at Senor Pizza and hope someone orders a pie with extra anchovies. And who knows, maybe your partner will call for a pizza delivery the next time they're feeling frisky.



8. The maid

In porn, the maid doesn't just clean the house. In fact, I don't think I've seen a porn with a maid that does any actual cleaning. If you can skip the sex part, there are now maid services who will actually clean your place topless. Personally, I think there's just something about the traditional maid outfit that makes you want to rip it off. If you can find a willing party, pretend you're an 18th century English nobleman and rip away.


7. Dick in the popcorn

Okay, I'll admit, this isn't from a porn. It's from a scene in Barry Levinson's Diner, where Boogie (Mickey Rourke) bets his friends he can get Carol Heathrow to go for his pecker on the first date. He does so by sticking his dick through the bottom of the popcorn bucket sitting in his lap. She reaches in and... well, it doesn't exactly turn into a porno moment. However, that doesn't mean you can't turn it into a porno moment. I'd suggest sitting near the back of the theater and not adding salt or melted butter.


6. Bang your secretary

We don't recommend trying this in real life. You'll probably get sued for sexual harassment or you'll have to marry your secretary and you don't want either of those things. What you do want is to live out the secretary fantasy. Maybe that hot little number is bringing you your coffee and she bends over your desk, giving you a nice view of her ass in that tight skirt... well, you know where things are supposed to go from there. In the real world, you can't just act on your impulse, so get your significant other or an escort, dress her appropriately and take her to the office for some role playing.


5. The slutty librarian

If you have any skills, go find yourself a real, live librarian, preferably one with glasses. A librarian with glasses reminds you she's a librarian even when she isn't in the library. Anyway, as in porn, librarians in real life usually have some pent-up sexual energy or are completely repressed. You know, they're around books all day, they're intellectual and they probably don't have much real human interaction. You've seen Tomcats, right? Actually, never mind, no one has seen that movie. Anyway, I think you can see how this will work out in your favor. And hell, even if you want to role play this scenario, most metropolitan libraries are large enough for you to find a quiet corner no one ever goes to, if you know what I mean.


4. Bang the teacher

This can work from so many different angles. Maybe you're the student and you need a passing grade (or you have a teacher that looks like Debra Lafave). Maybe you're a parent in for a parent/teacher conference and the sparks fly. Maybe you're the teacher and one of your teacher's pets needs to be kept after class. Whatever it is, the teacher is both an authority figure and an upstanding member of the community, so you definitely want to taste that forbidden fruit. Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you teachers are only upstanding in public. They're downright dirty behind closed doors.



3. School girl/cheerleader

Look, we all know you want to go back to high school and relive your glory days. Wait, maybe you fall into the other category: the dude who couldn't get laid in high school. Well, now you make more money than all the dudes who did get laid in high school, so you can do whatever the hell you want. I am in no way suggesting you should go find yourself an actual high school girl, but you can certainly pretend you're reliving the glory days you never had. The best way to do that is to find a hot 20-something and put her in a Catholic school girl or cheerleader uniform. You know they're dirty, but they look so prim and proper. When you get that uniform off, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.


2. Outdoor sex

You see people in porn having sex outdoors all the time like it's no big deal. That's usually because they've rented some huge, secluded mansion in the hills surrounding Los Angeles and no one is around. In reality, people get arrested for doing stuff like this, unless they have a huge mansion in the hills. That's not to say having sex outdoors is impossible. You just have to be careful. Outdoor sex is exhilarating because 1. someone may be watching, or 2. you might get caught. If you don't end up in jail, you can see for yourself.



1. Get arrested

We're not speaking literally when we say get arrested, but the cop fantasy has always been prevalent in porn and with good reason. It's not so much about the uniform or the authority figure fantasy as it is the possibility of someone getting punished for doing wrong. Depending upon your preference, getting the cuffs slapped on or slapping them on is fun for the whole gang. What follows is even better: the punishment phase. In this scenario, the police officer doesn't just arrest the perp, but they also get to act as judge and jury.


 

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